Hello - Hell No !!!

Watched Hello!! yesterday...... 10 minutes into the movie, you get to realize why the name of the movie is Hello!! It is, I guess to ensure that people do not leave the cinema hall halfway....

Jokes apart, a truly horrible effort at trying to make a movie out of a book. For those of you who liked 'One Night at a call Center', by Chetan Bhagat, you will hate the movie..... And for those of you who did not read the book, you will hate the movie!!! The only thing that stands out at the end of the movie is the solace in the fact that Atul Agnihotri is a consistent guy. He is as bad at directing as he ever was at acting.... (Remember the song on the bike??!!)

Well, the movie starts off with an item number by Mr Khan with mind bogling lyrics as 'Bang Bang Bang, Boom Boom Boom'!! (what was he thinking!!) After the item number, he gets ready to leave when his departure is delayed due to a technical fault with his chopper!! While sitting there, Katrina Kaif sits next to him as she needs to use the charging unit for her laptop and that is the only place where she can get it. She then starts off the narration of a 'oh so pathetic' story on the condition that Mr Khan makes a movie out of it....

Focus shifts to Connexions, a fictional call center in every sense of the term..... It is a rainy night an everybody is getting ready to get to their shift in time. And whether you believe it or not, everybody has his sob story in life starting from the supervisor Shyam, son of divorcees Vroom, the ever dutiful wife Radhika, aspiring model Isha, aged Military uncle and the soon to be married to a NRI gal, Priyanka. They are all part of the same team which handles Customer care calls for an appliance company... They are all cribbing about their lives at work when we get to know that Shyam and Priyanka were going steady before they broke up and Vroom likes Isha.... Between all this, there is news of employee retrenchment by their manager Mr Bakshi, an America loving SOB manager.... Due to a system issue and rise in tempers, they all decide to take a break from work and go and booze before making their way to office... (Wonder how!!??)

On the way back, Vroom is drunk and so eh crashes through a construction site, the car thus ending up at the very precipice of an under construction 'something'(Never got to know what it was!!) here, amazingly, none of them are able to get any signal on their mobiles... And then God calls!!!!!

Most of the conversation is one sided and illogical.. Basically God asks them to stand up for themselves and follow their mind in what they do. After all this they go back to office, teach a lesson to Bakshi and stop employee retrenchment....

The way they stop employee retrenchment by increasing calls is phenomenally crazy!!! During a fire drill the same night, Shyam and Vroom convince everybody assembled that they have to receive more calls to enable retention. Therefore, the suggestion, call up all customers and tell them that there is a mysterious virus attack on the US through appliances (whoa!!) and by keeping on calling, they can somehow annihilate the attack!! (Basic premise here is all Americans are dumbasses!!!!) And thus all is well that ends well.

And hey BTW, if you are not bored by the sheer idiotic of it all, you come to know at the end that Katrina is God!!!! My God!!!

The movie to talk about in a few words is a slap on the book, a slap on the faces of each and every employee of the burgeoning back office industry through its potrayal and and therefore deserves a slap on the face of Mr Agnihotri, Mr Bhagat and all of the cast!!!!

Even if you are supremely bored, I suggest you watch a crappy movei on Zee Cinema or Set Ma rather than sitting through this joke of a movie!!!!